


this is how you lose her.

by neednot



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-08-07 06:09:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7703503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neednot/pseuds/neednot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You grieve in snapshots, in forgotten memories. In moments only you have. In could-haves and should-haves and regrets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	this is how you lose her.

This is how you grieve. How you get over a girl no one knows you love. Loved? Love. A girl you spent so much time with only to have the universe rip all of it away like a cruel joke.

_Don't you forget about me, Max Caulfield._

You know it's supposed to be this way but it doesn't feel like it. 

Should it have been you? It should have been you.

You can't count the number of times you've watched her die now. Not just in life but in your head, every time you close your eyes. You’ll hear that gunshot for the rest of your life. 

You miss her. You're probably the only one who does, save for David and her mom.

Justice, revenge should feel sweet, but it doesn't. It just feels really fucking lonely. Watching Mr. Jefferson taken away in handcuffs, Kate’s hand in yours and her hand covering her mouth in shock, Victoria stony-eyed and cold from across the lawn—

Should have filled you with something except immense sadness. 

You break into the school one night to clear your head, go swimming, but it’s not the same. There’s no laughter, no shouting, no buzz of danger or fear of being caught. There’s just silence and the echo of your own footsteps in an empty space.

You grieve in snapshots, in forgotten memories. In moments only you have. In could-haves and should-haves and regrets. 

There are days you wake up in a cold sweat, rain pounding at your window, and you wonder what would have happened if you’d told her not to die.

_Don’t you forget about me, Max Caulfield._

You won’t. You can’t. 

Kate asks you about it, once. About the blue-haired girl in your photographs. 

“Did you know her?” 

You don’t have an answer. You knew her more infinitely than you know yourself, spent decades and eons with that girl. 

You keep the photos in a box under your bed, pull them out when you need to remember. And you grieve, and you mourn, and you go on. Life goes on.

It always does.

_For more of my fic, follow[@need-not ](http://need-not.tumblr.com/)or check out my [AO3 page](http://ao3.org/users/neednot)_


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